No. 119: A Manifesto for the "Other" to Take into 2025 and Beyond
A Peek at the first Essay of the New Year for the last Friday letter of 2024
I have spent weeks writing an essay on my experience in being “Other” as a creative in every industry I touch. I’ve spent hours on the phone with a mentor, hours on the phone with someone who knows me the best and O has combed through it as well with “are you sure this is what you mean to say?” I’ve edited it and edited it further, but at 1:24am on Friday morning, I can sense the Lord saying, “enough now.” I wanted to end 2024 with this somewhat painful reflection to share the hope I’m walking in as I step into 2025—the year I turn 35 years old.
But I’ll never sacrifice the best version of an essay or force something that feels important so instead, I moved everything else to a new document and left only the opening segment and the manifesto itself. There are no recommendations because in her full form, this was the longest letter I’ve ever sent. Without all the meat, things are a little lighter than I’d love or allow. I hope that even out of context and even without the fun things, there’s something here that blesses you today.
“It will only resonate if you relate”
I saw the movie Wicked without watching any of the press tour or interviews aside from paying close attention to the fashion choices of the cast, because I am who I am. I saw the show on Broadway when I was twenty-two and loved the story and soundtrack, even despite not being theater’s number one fan, and it stole the position of “favorite” for years after. I wanted to go in blindly to enjoy the movie and make my own response without being brainwashed by the opinions of others.
Because we are so often brainwashed by the opinions of others.
I took my eight year old daughter well past her bedtime on a school night because those opportunities for magic are ones that rarely come along, and we snuggled up under blankets with smuggled Olipop and chocolate cake expecting a beautiful sing-a-long. Instead, I saw so much of myself and people I love in Elphaba that I was beside myself for most of the movie. I was lost in my head, almost drowning in the injustice of it all.
Something happens when you see Elphaba as a Black woman painted green.
She still remains beautifully, undeniably, Black.
The Ozdust scene was one of the most moving experiences I’ve ever had in a movie theater. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the play or movie, but ultimately the scene is one I’ve watched play out a thousand times in my life and found both exposing and mesmerizing to watch in a setting I didn’t expect to see myself in. Someone goes from being ostracized for being different to being mocked and ridiculed for their otherness. And after they stand under that unbearable weight and decide, “I’m going to be me anyway,” someone conventionally accepted, attractive and beloved adopts their behavior and suddenly everyone thinks it’s wonderful.
That isn’t, of course, the message of the scene. But it is a truth both in the movie and in the lives of so many People of Color since the dawn of time—validation only through adoption.
I need to address right here that there are countless reasons we feel “other” in our own world. It may be the color of our skin, our abilities, our physical features, our skill set, our background, our mistakes, the choices of those we call family and millions of things in between. I can only speak to my lived experience and observation that stemmed from it, but I hope you can see the thing you feel disqualifies you in my own.
The rest of the essay will arrive in your inbox in January, the Manifesto, however, is yours for the marinating.
2025 Manifesto for The Other:
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Neither my flaws nor my circumstances are a mistake.
I will not change myself to fit in a mold I wasn’t created for. I will listen to the still small voice reminding me who I am and won’t ignore it again for something as trivial as fitting in or attempting to fast-track my own version of success. “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” Matthew 16:26
The rejection I suspect I’m facing may be real, but I am equipped to walk in the space the Lord has planted my feet whether I am accepted this side of heaven or not.
I do not need to fear being misunderstood.
I will not disqualify myself from opportunities simply for fear of giving someone else the power to do so.
Not every opposition or failure I feel is a result of my skin color, my appearance, my disability or the thorn in my flesh. Sometimes I am just not the right fit or it’s not the right time.
Millions of women are suffering today in ways big and small. They continue to seek the Lord, to serve Him and others and to show up in hope, fighting. I can, too.
“What God left out is part of my story, it’s all for my good and all for His Glory.”
Have a beautiful weekend, Christmas and New Year, friend. I’ll be back as always with photos and thoughts from Christmas day next week, I might pop in with one Sunday edition if recipes are particularly delightful, but I’ll be skipping two Fridays for a proper break to be present with family, plan for the New Year, goal set with O and rest for the first time in a long time. It sounds so delicious I can hardly stand it. I’ll be back in your inbox ready for business as usual January 10th.
Thank you for making this space everything I dreamed of in 2024. You are a gift to me.
your other-ness is why I'm so drawn to your work <3 "it's hard being a diamond in a rhinestone world" ;) thank you as always for your thoughtful, vulnerable prose! merry merry & happy happy xoxo
Thank you Jill! Can't wait to read the rest of what you have to say on this topic. Thank you for sharing from such a vulnerable place.