No. 133: When it Comes to Technology and Parenting, is "Do as I Say, Not as I Do" Good Enough?

phones, screen time and the pressure to get it right

While reading through the original “7 Rhythms and Routines Working For Our Family Right Now” post last week, my brain suction-cupped on to the “Zero Screen Time” section. It was only a year ago so saying, “I remember that time like it was yesterday” feels a bit ridiculous, but we all know the unique way time moves within a household full of littles. A four week span with a toddler can host six different routines—the things that once worked suddenly becoming obsolete overnight. It was a moment in time that was such a clear necessity to us that we made the decision in an instant and didn’t look back for months.

Our kids had become versions of themselves we didn’t recognize at the end of twenty-twenty-three. It might help to first paint a picture of our normal as a family at the time. I’m pretty strict around screen time while O sees it more as a beautiful freedom of childhood as long as it fits within the healthy boundaries of ‘work hard, rest hard.’ He always reminisces on the sweetness of Saturday morning cartoons and re-watching the same VHS tapes over and over again, The Never Ending Story and Breakin’ being favorites. His Nigerian parents fit the stereotype when it came to work. Schoolwork and studies were to be given full attention along with having a job from the age of six and I kid you not, picturing precious Baby O on his paper route, taking connecting busses always gets me. Saturday and Sunday, though, were sacred. After more work and running around with the kids in the neighborhood, there was a full-on feeding frenzy of television and the joy he derived from those moments was enough to fuel a lifelong love of the establishment. Free weekends in front of a glowing screen, why not?

I grew up a decade later than him but we are both technically Millennials. He, an elder-Millennial being born the first year this generational categorization begins, and me, born near the tail-end. The DVR became a buzzed about concept by my ninth birthday which meant by my tween years, we were fighting over space to record our favorite shows, often deleting American Idol to tape a marathon of America’s Funniest Home Videos and Disney Channel Original Movies. The majority of my youth, though, was still spent racing to perfectly time TGIF for the dream lineup with Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Boy Meets World, Sister Sister and Two of a Kind all in one place. We were a road trip family, favoring the same ten VHS tapes more than any others, learning each line and voice inflection in movies, commercials and theme songs.

There was a short moment in time where we were only allowed to watch sports and Seventh Heaven and I counted down the minutes til’ the glow of the TV hummed through our family room, but that stint was short-lived. We’d eventually move to Maryland where my Dad would become a coach for the Baltimore Ravens and while he was busy outside the home, our screen-time inside the home absolutely skyrocketed.