No. 24: I Deleted Instagram 13 Months Ago - This is What I've Learned, Loved and Let Go.

File Under: Best Things I've Ever Done.

Today is for allll the words. You’ll need to reheat your coffee. You may need a snack. But I hope in the end, you’re glad you stuck it out.

This time last year, I was supposed to be just a couple weeks away from returning to Instagram after a two month break from the app. I announced that I was pivoting from the role of “Influencer,” stepping away from the app until March and hoping to return fresh and refueled. Within five days, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to keep my word—there was no way I’d be downloading the app on my phone again.

I’m sure if I didn’t work on Instagram for years that it wouldn’t have been so necessary to delete the app for good, but i’ll never know for sure. I am a person that is highly sensitive across the board so if an entire room full of people is doing the same thing, loving life and perfectly content, chances are I’m the only one having a hard time. Noises and noise levels that don’t even register to my beloved husband will irk me to my core. New experiences that are flashy and exciting for others usually leave me wondering whether or not they’re safe.

I sound fun, right?

I know myself well and I consider that a gift. The thing is, despite knowing myself I still can slip into caring deeply about how a decision I make will be perceived by others. Do you want to know how long I was considering deleting Instagram on a daily basis? Two years. Do you want to know how many people I consulted about it? Dozens. And by the end of it, when I was physically ill in the way that only comes about when I’m ignoring a deep roaring of the Spirit in me due to fear and indecision, the main thing holding me back was this: what will people think?